For a period of about 5 years I was the worship leader for my churches youth group. I remember having my first opportunity to lead for that group. I was so excited and passionate about experiencing God’s presence through worship. God’s presence was very real and very clear to me in the first year of leading. I remember instances where students would just come to the front as a sign of their devotion to God. I also remember seeing the hunger in those students’ lives to experience a relationship with God that was deeper than any program or religion could fill. They were hungry for intimacy with God, and it showed in the way they worshipped God at those meetings. They sang their hearts out.
After that year passed it seemed like every following year I was striving to recapture the passion and expressions of that first year. It’s funny because during that first year I remember wishing that I could make changes to the band and to the style of music we played. Then when the second and following years came I was able to implement some of those changes, but things felt like they got off center. So I tried to change back and still nothing was quite like the expression and passion of the first year.
Looking back after those 5 years I see now how even though our expression in music was never the same as that first year, God’s presence was increasingly with us. More and more students began to reach out to each other and to the community. There was a passion for God, but the students just weren’t as excited about the music. I wish I would have realized this in those last 4 years. Too much stress and wasted energy went into trying to re manufacture God’s presence through music.
It wasn’t until the last year that it started to sink into me. Before I was teaching and reinforcing that worship isn’t about the music, but I was still chasing that expression and I wanted other to chase it as well. Then that last year I remember a weight lifting off my shoulders as I realized that chasing God is more valuable than chasing the expressions and experiences of worshiping Him.
Expressions will fail, but a relationship with God endures. Seek God.
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Thanks for reading. Let me know what your thoughts are. – Dan